It's Not A Fashion Statement, It's a Fucking Deathwish

Words are at a loss to me, and to be entirely honest, so are my thoughts. As days go by I find myself descending deeper into this self-induced stupor. I know my downward spiral has started again.

But I'm not upset, down, depressed, whatever you want to call it. I'm not exactly jumping for joy, but I wouldn't say I was sad.

I have my hollowness back again, and I don't know what to make of it. I don't want to welcome it back, because I was glad to be rid of it... but it is mighty comfortable knowing that whatever you do, or whatever you say isn't going to impact anybody. I guess it's a kind of freedom. At the same time it's a segregation from everything. I hate being a burden to people though, and as a result I do retreat like this. I won't ever extend branches unless I really, genuinely care too much for fear of backing people into a corner and causing them to resent me. I am sure I have achieved this.

I am just talking words, that have very little cohesion I know, but I cannot compel myself to stop. I have nothing to say. Just to anybody at all who might read this, for all negative impact on your respective life(lives) I am truly sorry. I don't know what I will do with myself in this mire for now, I need to get back to university, I just need FUCKING ANYTHING to give me meaning again.

I'm just floating about.

This, I am sure, reads fairly similarly to some of my earlier posts... which either proves that I am easily breakable... or I was never fixed. Which one it is, I leave to you to choose.

I sense a lot of blogs coming up with a similar nothing content. I feel safe writing here. Stupid I know. I just do.

spotify:track:2lQjEzV5W4eLxxsJxMgqqw